Two words nobody wants to be associated with. But, from time to time, we will all find ourselves there. That place where nothing is going the way we planned. Where everyone else seems to have a smile on their face while we’re struggling to get out of bed for work each morning. That place.
Well friends, I am also currently here at that place and it is not fun. Been here for a few months and looking for a way out. There are plenty of reasons I am feeling this way, but I could probably narrow it down to a few.
Top reason is absolutely, without a doubt because of my job. Let me start this with a disclaimer – I am very grateful for having a job that pays me enough to be comfortable and travel, provides benefits, paid vacations, free lunches and parking. I am fortunate to have the opportunity to grow my career and be able to support myself. However, the nature of my position is emotionally draining and I currently see no way forward.
I am a customer service representative (csr) and spend my days answering phone calls and web chats from users of our website. I’ve worked several csr jobs and am well aware of the struggle that comes with serving people. They are rude, careless, downright mean but it’s a thousand times worse when you are a faceless phone call. Day in and day out I deal with misdirected anger, and just have to swallow it.
That’s not the worst part. I currently feel pigeon-holed in this position. Just over a year here and I have yet to see a viable path onward. I interviewed for another position and didn’t move forward past the second round for reasons I don’t agree with. I’m learning that moving to the next step will be more of a struggle than an adventure.
The second reason I’m feeling down and out is because of my sister. A constant struggle I think I will always live with, so I won’t continue to recount the details.
Finally, I think I fear I am settling for a life of mediocrity. How do I explain that? I feel like I am not striving hard enough to achieve things that are important to me. “Things” meaning – keeping up with friendships and working to make them closer, moving forward with my career (see above), activities that bring me happiness, learning/gaining new skills. If I find myself spending a night watching Netflix on the couch, I feel like I am not best utilizing my time.
I believe the reason I am struggling is truly mental, and it’s learning to accept facts of life that cannot be changed and change the ones I know I can. It’s easy to get lost in a puddle of despair. Shut everyone out, stop doing what I enjoy. But I’m still trying to acquire the ability to pick myself up each morning with a positive attitude toward a new day. So cheers, we made it to Wednesday.
emilyelizabeth 